Cat Fight!!!!

The worst yet greatest thing happened today. Ali and Madame got into a fight over me of all people. It was horrible because there was hitting and scratching and yelling, but it was amazing because it was over me! Ali walked up to Madame and started screaming at her saying that i was a horrible smelly person and that she shouldn't be with me, (I think she just has a crush on me). I was stunned I had no idea what to do. Madame replied saying she thought I was very handsome and she liked me. I thought Ali's head was going to explode. They started hitting and screaming and clawing at each other. Finally the Host pulled them apart and Ali ran off on her horse.

Get over it and leave me alone!

Well I think I am starting to really like Madame Eglentyne. I love being with her, I enjoy her company so much! Regardless of when I am with her, I always see Ali lurking around watching us. I do not know what the heck her problem is, it is not my fault that she uses guys and didn’t really like me. I wish she would just leave me alone, go find another guy to use because as far as I am concerned I don’t ever want to talk to her again! She does nothing but agitate me anymore, I have a new woman that I like and Ali is not her!

P.S. Like the picture that I put up of Madame Eglentyne?

First Impression....

I decided that I am going to stop worrying about my appearance and smell and take my chances on the nun. I was very scared but I knew that I had to at least give it a shot. I rode up beside her on my horse and said the first thing that popped into my head, "I love garlic!" She responded with a laugh and, "I love all food!" I really think we connected and I was very excited. I hope she likes me because I think she is amazing and very unique. She has the greatest love for food that I find most intriguing about her. What I like most about her is she isn't like that floozy Ali...She is a real woman.

the tale!!!

That Friar's tale made me so mad. I think I will get back at him while telling my tale. I think I will make it about a Friar who goes to hell with an Angel and sees the fate of all Friars, but the tale goes a little like this. A Friar goes to an ill man's house and starts asking of many things such as gold and food, and in doing this he makes sermons to preach to the couple. As he is preaching he is insulting the man and the man becomes angered and says that he has a gift for the friar and tells him that it is under his buttocks. So the friar reaches under the mans buttocks and as he dose so the man farts. Now back at the convent the friar complains that he will not split what is not there to split. Then the lords servant explains how the fart can be divided and everyone but the friar thought that it was a good idea. So i think that this really got on the Friar's nerves, but to bad for him that is. HE!!! HE!!! HA!!! HA!!!

Something new...

Remember a while ago when I said that the Doctor told me this : it is crucial to work on yourself, and then officially put yourself on the love market? Well....as you can see from my post before I already worked myself and now it is official, I am putting myself back on the love market! And guess who my latest love affection is....It is the Prioress, well her real name is Madame Eglentyne. There is just something about her that I really like... maybe it is because she has very good manners? Oh wait, it could also be her English accent... there is just something about accents that I like!

oooh! Rejected!

Well...it's been 5 days of cleaning up my act and I decided to go ask Ali if she's still interested in me. Well to see if she was interested in the NEW me. I was gonna ride right up to her and be all like "hey baby! what's happening?" and she'd be like "not much, where ya been hot stuff? I've missed you!" and we'd be happy for a while. HOWEVER, things did not go my way. I started to talk to her, but she ignored me. So I asked her if something was wrong and she said that I was bothering her. Then she sped away on her horse toward the front of the group. I was heartbroken and shocked that she showed no emotion to me. My good buddy the Pardoner couldn't console me either, mainly because he thought I was being foolish. Today has been a sad day indeed.

a stone and a hard place.

Hello, it is me once again . I am very confused because to day i was cornered by the Pardoner. He started yelling at me when he noticed that i was not paying attention to his plans to scam our fellow pilgrims. I told him that i had other things on my mind for the moment. Then he said, "its that floozy isn't it." When i told him it was he started rambling about how much i have changed, but to tell you the truth i zoned out. It's as if he is making me choose between him and her. What ever will I do? I feel that I'm in love but I don't wanna lose my old pal because of it.
In other news that scrawny little squire got hurt today. You won't believe how! The Knight ran him over with his horse. Well I must be on my way making a decision about the Pardoner and Ali.

Going strong

It has been four days since I have had any onions or leeks. I am trying to cut back on drinking too in order to improve my image. The old Pardoner thinks I am just short of crazy to give up earthly pleasures such as these for something like love. Well I will show him just how crazy I am! I'm crazy in love even if she's a floozy. Perhaps I can change that about Ali. In the meantime the Pardoner is showing more interests in our conning schemes to rip off our fellow pilgrims. The more he talks about it, the less I care. I have bigger and better things to think about. I think about whether or not what the Doctor said was true. All that stuff about this month being a good month for love. Overall, I feel pretty lost right now.

Time for work

The way I see it, we should be able to make some money as long as we're on this pilgrimage. My buddy the Pardoner agrees...to an extent. Our overall plan is to "summon" our fellow travellers and then hope to "pardon" them, for a price of course. However, the Pardoner doesn't feel we should summon everyone to church court, only certain lucky people. I say we should do them all, I mean, look at what we're working with: A pretender of a Yeoman, a witchdoctor, a stuck up Knight and his perfect squire, a fat, lazy nun, the list goes on and on and on. And that no good Parson and his brother, that lowly plowman. They're holding us up after all, trying to help every poor person they come across in their travels. Well, they should pay closer attention to their poor companions! Now if you'll excuse me, I must be on my way!

A cure?

Today I'm going to see if the good Doctor has any cure for my leprosy, halitosis and my broken heart. I figure that since I am going to see if the Doctor can fix my broken heart, he can also cure my leprosy and bad breath so I can become more attractable for the ladies and I can go up to Ali and say "La La La La La You will never get this!" Anyway, the Doctor told me to fix my halitosis by brushing my teeth and cut down on eating my favorite foods which is garlic and leeks. As for my leprosy, he told me he couldn't fix that which bums me out. :( But he did give me some advice for my broken heart. He asked my sign and I told him that I was a Libra and he told me the new moon Oct 11 in your sign is a fabulously positive time for love whether you are single or attached – have fun and enjoy yourself. During Oct, this is the month you will also make firm decisions about what you will and won’t accept within a romantic relationship. First, it is crucial to work on yourself, and then officially put yourself on the love market.

Depressed...

Wow, last night was rough. Thank God for the alcohol otherwise I would still be awake. Okay, so after I got up today the first thing I did was I went and talked to Ali. I opened up and told her everything. I told her how I felt about her and then I asked her why she was married 5 previous times. After an awkward moment of silence, she told me that she uses guys. She likes to feel powerful and in control of her men. After awhile she gets bored with them and convinces them to divorce her. And during some marriages she found another guy and married them once she was single. Basically, she told me that she was a floozy! I guess I should of listened to the Pardoner but instead I let my heart make my decisions instead of my mind.

Is there something?

The more I talk to Ali, the more I fall in love with her. My buddy, the Pardoner, keeps telling me to stay away from her because there is something about her that he is not sure about. Oh well, all that matters is how I feel about her and we all know that I really like her.

Later that day:

I think what the Pardoner said is starting to get to me because now I keep wandering why she was married 5 times. Is there something that I don't know about her? Does she have 6 toes or something? Oh man, this is going to keep me up all night wondering. I guess I am going to go drink myself to sleep.

I wish I may, I wish I might...

I think I may, I think I might be falling for the Wife of Bath. Which reminds me, I finally got her to tell me what her name was. It is Alisoun. Today was a very interesting day. I conversed with Ali (that’s the nickname that I have for her) for hours upon hours. I learned that if I were to marry her, I would be her sixth husband...hm, she has been married a number of times…but that is okay because she now knows what she is looking for in a man (man I hope I can meet her qualifications).

The woman....

So remember a few posts ago I was talking about the lady that I was going to meet? Well she wouldn't give me her real name but she said that people call her "the Wife of Bath" I don't quite know what that means though...does she like to get baths a lot and that's why they call her the Wife of Bath? Anyway it turns out that she is on the Pilgrimage that I am going on! :) So I have a feeling that throughout this Pilgrimage we are going to be getting close. Well I guess I should get going. Goodnight!

On our way

And so we left the inn. The well-to-do Knight is in the lead along with the Friar, Nun, Monk, Squire, Narrator and the Cook. Me and my pal the Pardoner have bravely volunteered to bring up the rear, along with the Wife of Bath and the Miller. We are on our way to Southampton or somewhere rather. Once we get there, we will all stock up on supplies, as ours will be semi-depleted by then. I had the good doctor take a gander at my leathery face to see if he knew of any good remedies. He said he would look into it once we stopped for the night. I then spoke with the Pardoner in private of our financial situation and when we should start collecting income again. We have not yet reached an agreement.

Alas its time to leave.

Hello, it is I the summoner. I am writing because today we start our pilgrimage and we are now preparing all of the goods that we will need for this long trip. I can't believe my ears some of the other Pilgrims are being very rude, for example when the squire looked at me, he vomited on the knight which started the beginning of a huge mess. Then, when I was talking to the plowman he started to cry and when I asked him what was wrong he yelled that my breath stinks as if I just ate a skunks anus. So I secretly checked my breath myself and I do not understand what he was talking about( I think he spent to much time around dung and the smell is stuck in his nose, which if I may add is huge, and he would be able to pick that particular smell of dung from others). As I was going out the door I happened to see a beautiful woman whose name I did not catch. I think I may try my luck and see what happens I will be back after our encounter.

At the Inn

Today I arrived at the Tabbard Inn along with a slew of other pilgrims including my good friend the Pardoner. He is a jolly good fellow with clean, slick yellow hair and a marvelous singing voice. He is a thrifty fellow, always keeping an eye on his cash, which he keeps in his wallet on his lap. He is the most pious man I have ever met, for he carries religious trinkets of great value with him at all times. He has the veil of the blessed virgin Mary as well as piece of a sail that belonged to St. Peter. What marvelous treasures indeed! Oh my look at the time! I'm late for the drinking games!.

Hello

Hello, allow me to introduce myself, I am the summoner you might know me from the Canterbury Tales. I have a mild case of leprosy which has slightly destroyed my good looks. I just ate my last portion of onions, Garlic, and leeks. I had a great time at the pub last night and when I got home all my summons have disappeared. I must have already delivered them last night, oh well whats done is done and that is less for me to do today. I will be traveling to the Tabard Inn where I will be marry and gay as I drink my fill of assorted wines and spirits. Well I must be going for its time for me to depart and soon begin my pilgrimage.